Thursday, May 27, 2010

Sleep Training

It has been just a little over 4 months since Bela entered our lives and up until this week getting Bela to sleep at night was a rather difficult procedure.  We had to be careful to balance the need for bonding with the need for being able to comfort herself during sleep.  So for the first 4 months, one of us would lay down with her to help her get to sleep, which was usually a long process that could last several hours with sometimes 2 to 3 shifts per night until she fell to sleep.  We wanted to make sure she felt connected to us and knew that we'd be there for her, which is all part of bonding.  By now bela now figured out that she could get out of bed, open the door, and come into our room.  While it was very cute to see her come into our room reaching out for us, we both knew that it was not the best thing for sleep training.  So we decided that each time she did that, we'd pick her up without speaking to her and just put her back in her bed, but then she'd just get up and come into our room again, and we'd put her to bed again.  That back and forth process latest about 36 rounds that night before she finally stopped getting up and fell to sleep, it was probably around 11 PM that night.  It was rough to say the least.  We both fretted over the thought that each night we'd have to go through this back and forth over and over, so for the next week after we fell into our old habit of sleeping with her till she fell to sleep.  One thing that Bela didn't really have yet was a security blanket or favorite doll that she'd like to sleep with. So we began to put her to bed with a soft purple troll doll that her cousin Nicholas given her. And a friend's wife had quilted a beautiful green and purple blanket, and we began giving both of them to her as she went to sleep. Unfortunatley, she really didn't take to either of them, but we made sure that everytime she napped and went to sleep that we'd tuck her doll in with her underneath the soft blanket.  Then just this past Monday, we went through the steps of putting her to bed (getting her into her PJs, brushing her teeth, reading a book, etc) and after tucking her under the little blanket we gave the doll a kiss good night and told her that mommy and daddy would be downstairs and that Bela would need to go to sleep, but if she needed us she would only need to yell out "Mommy" or "Daddy" and we'd right up to get her.  She nodder her head, said night night to me, and POOF, we didn't hear a peep from her until the next morning.  Wow, could it be that easy finally to get her down to sleep?  The next few nights were the same as one of us would go through the same exact process and she'd nod her head with a big smile and say "Night Night, I luv you" and we'd close the door and she would fall to sleep.  What a relief, Bela is now secure enough to comfort herself to go to sleep - a huge sign of attachment.  Where before we'd painfully pass on the nightly shifts of laying with her until she fell to sleep, we were now high fiving each other after only taking 5 minutes to get her to bed.  We now had our evenings back and we could catch up on Lost and have some mommy and daddy time.

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